(written by Terry MacNeil, on August 13-14, 2024)

I remember I showed flashes of empathy in my childhood – those were moments when I would try to get other schoolchildren (who looked lonely) to play with me and my friends. BUT those were only mere moments – because I was (overall) a pretty despicable child. In my childhood, I would (overall) PRETEND like I was kind and well-behaved when I was around adults, then treat (most) children around my age like shit. Oh well. Adults rarely get to know what their child is REALLY LIKE, until the child is much older.

In later life, I don’t recall displaying empathy until I was in university – that was when I overcame my desire to exterminate the entire human race (including myself). Put simply, overcoming my fear of socializing with other humans resulted in my misanthropy becoming less intense – though I didn’t completely overcome that hatred of humanity until I embraced anarcho-communism. The common assumption is that ALL anarchists are of the “egoist” variety, and that society is under constant threat from these anarchists committing acts of terrorism. When did the era of “anarchist terrorism” end? About a hundred years ago – even though many of us see no harm in throwing molotov cocktails at police (something way more common in Europe than in North America). But I digress.

Something I’ve never been happy about, is the common assumption that all heterosexual “Virgin Wizards” (like myself) are misogynists. Well, I have never been a misogynist in my entire life (although I’m convinced that if I had had a girlfriend in university, I wouldn’t have treated her with as much respect and consideration as she would’ve deserved). But I digress.

Around the time I finished my fourth year of university, I had a major depression that was so crippling, I was pretty much bedridden for half a year. And I pretty much spent the next ten years hiding from the World outside of my house, as much as possible. But when that depression ended, I found my level of empathy went way higher than it had ever been. But I digress.

As I’ve already said elsewhere, I don’t get angry at women that turn me down (if I ask them out). I DO become disappointed, but who doesn’t? That said, I’ve never been treated cruelly by any woman I asked out – if I were treated with cruelty, THEN I would get angry. But even if I am treated cruelly and become angry, it’s still no excuse to ever become a misogynist.

When I’m being hit on by someone I’m uninterested in – I play dumb. I just act completely oblivious to their intentions – and most of those people eventually give up without me having to specifically tell them I’m uninterested. I do this, because I am aware of how devastated some people can become when they are turned down. I’ve done this with physically unattractive women who were interested in me, as well as homosexual men. To be clear – I’m not homosexual, and I’m not bisexual. But I know a lot of heterosexual dudes FREAK OUT if a gay male hits on them – which is the WORST way they can react. I regard it as a compliment if a gay dude hits on me – and I’ve been hit on by more than one gay dude in my life. But I have zero interest in fucking men – so all I can do is try not to hurt their feelings, while making sure they get the message that they will not be getting into my pants. But I digress.

I’m assuming this has something to do with my Catholic upbringing and my New Age readings in high school, but I do worry some of the insensitive tweets I write will result in me paying a severe price in terms of “karma”. Oh well. I guess I’m fucked. Ⓐ