(written by Terry MacNeil, on May 6, 9, 12-13, 2025)

In my high school years, I (as I often say) was terrified to socialize with my peers (I was too psychotic, depressed, and anxiety ridden) so I’d spend my weekends watching The Showcase Revue (on TV) with my father. And he would give me one or two beer a night, which I would sip astronomically slowly – and watch indie movies (mostly foreign). And he would reveal certain details of his past – though I later heard there was a fair amount he kept quiet.

Although, before that became our routine – back in high school I noticed a Pedro Almodóvar Spanish movie called Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! was going to be on The Showcase Revue, and was listed as having the highest level of sexual content (for Showcase) – so I made sure I watched it one night (by myself). The sexual content/nudity was indeed explicit – though in retrospect, could have harmed naive/impressionable viewers (if they saw nothing wrong with what the protagonist did in that film). After my Dad heard I watched that movie by myself, he was pissed – and committed himself to watching movies like that with me. He was deeply fearful that teenage males who watch movies like Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! might try to imitate what they see onscreen (and/or see nothing wrong with what the male protagonist did).

Well, there are laws against adults watching pornography with underage teenagers – for good reason. But with the way internet porn is these days – underage teenage males are consuming vast amounts of incredibly misogynistic porn, without any kind of adult supervision. So I’m unsurprised so many teenage males consume porn, and think THAT is how people fuck. And that the advice from scum like Andrew Tate is how men should treat women. As a consumer of porn myself, I consider the most soul-crushing element of porn videos – to be what the male AND female pornstars SAY during the videos. Typically, the male pornstar verbally degrades the female he is having sex with – and the female pornstar verbally degrades herself. To the credit of BOTH my parents – they carefully raised me to NEVER be a misogynist. But I digress.

One of my fondest memories, was the first time I saw Apocalypse Now – specifically the part when some dudes tossed a severed head at the protagonist. When that happened in the movie – my father jumped out of his skin, but I barely flinched (even though I regarded it as a genuinely horrifying moment in the film). And then my Dad was angered/embarrassed by his reaction, and said to me “So if someone cut off my head, and threw it on your lap – what would you do?” I don’t remember what I said, but I think I laughed.

Another fond memory, was watching The Devils – during the part where an inquisitor said (paraphrased) “Blood from the tongue! This is proof he’s a witch!” And my Dad felt the need to tell me “That’s not true.”

Also, Videodrome (with brief interview of special guest David Cronenberg), a movie I hated the first time I saw it – just because it was so bizarre. But that’s the normal teenage reaction to a movie like that – and when I re-watched it in my late-twenties, I loved it.

When I was in junior high, my Dad showed Reservoir Dogs (which he owned on VHS) to me and my brother. When it ended, I said “This is the best movie EVER!” Then my Dad (paraphrased) said “Don’t say that! Only a weirdo would say that’s their favourite movie.” In my early twenties, my Dad assumed I only liked “weird” movies – though he’d be partly to blame for my taste in films. That’s the same guy who assumed everyone he labelled “weird” was a bad person – until I was in high school. Having a weirdo son (who was also one of his best friends) forced him to reassess the way he judged people. I recall him saying to me “You’re weird. But I like you.” And I thought something like “Well, at least you’re not going to kick my head in – unlike lots of the weirdos you encountered in your past.” That said, I’ll always miss him. RIP. Ⓐ