(written by Terry MacNeil, on June 27-29, 2025)

Let me be clear. There is NOTHING that could ever make me read “The 1957 Edition” of Jack Kerouac’s novel On the Road. Reading “The Original Scroll” (of On the Road) was bad enough. The cover of the published edition of “The Original Scroll” promises: “The legendary first draft – rougher, wilder, and racier than the 1957 edition”. Well, that ain’t saying much.

“The Original Scroll” is a juvenile (and boring) novel about Jack Kerouac and other irresponsible adults spending the little money they have travelling the country, and chasing skirts. When they aren’t travelling, they’re briefly shacked up with the women they’re currently banging. That said, I was surprised by how often they DIDN’T hitchhike (which is the way of travel I most respect).

But Kerouac made the HUGE mistake of assuming that everything he wrote (no matter how tedious) would result in a good novel. He drowns the reader in unimportant details – EXCEPT when it COMES to the sex scenes (this is when the novel leaves everything to the imagination). But I can’t complain about that – considering how often Kerouac (and various male friends of his) lust for (and bang) underage teenage girls. If the novel is to be believed, Kerouac wasn’t a pedophile – but he WAS an ephebophiliac. However, there are ALSO times where Kerouac’s writing makes him sound like a hebephiliac – considering he had WAY higher praise for the beauty of 13 and 14 year old girls, than he did for any adult female. In the World of Kerouac, it seems “girls under 18 are for one-night-stands, and any women over 20 are for marrying”. However, Kerouac mercifully did us all a favour and spared us detailed descriptions of the underage fucking.

And with regard to the countless unimportant details in “The Original Scroll”, how many times did we have to read a sentence or two about people who are introduced to Jack Kerouac – then (after the end of those two sentences) are never seen by him ever again?

As for the 2012 movie On the Road, it manages to be even more boring than the novel – which is an impressive feat, to be sure. Though I’m not certain whether the movie was supposed to be an adaptation of “The 1957 Edition” or “The Original Scroll” – or both.

The three most “memorable” (a term I use sarcastically) parts of the film – are Joan Vollmer simulating a blowjob, and a double handjob performed by a female on two males at the same time, and a homosexual man consenting to be sodomized. Needless to say, this is a very forgettable and unmemorable film.

To further illustrate my annoyance with the film, the movie shows Kerouac sit down beside Bea Franco on a bus – then all of a sudden (without any further detail) it immediately cuts to them working at a cotton field, and living together. Even though I wasn’t a fan of “The Original Scroll”, at least it explained Franco’s background and how they ended up living together. The movie doesn’t bother.

“Grooming” is something the men in “The Original Scroll” never actually bother to do – because of their short attention spans, impatience, and laziness. As far as an actual example of grooming (in fiction), I recently mentioned to a friend of mine that I heard “Xander” was in a relationship with “Dawn” in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer comics. And all my friend said, was “Ew.” He was then speaking for everyone who disapproves of the wish fulfillment of Joss Whedon. Ⓐ