(written by Terry MacNeil, on August 15, 18, 2025)

Recently, I was at a pub with my brother and my Mom. After we left said pub, my brother said he was disappointed I didn’t hit on any of the waitresses. And I thought to myself “Maybe if our MOM wasn’t with us – and I sure as fuck wouldn’t want a smart-ass like you to be watching me either”. Although, many years ago, there was one time I asked out a (non-waitress) hot blonde at a friend’s house – but THAT DAY I waited until my Mom went to the car before I did the asking out (inside the friend’s house). Anyway, I recall two waitresses at that pub (that I had recently been at with my Mom and my brother) – both waitresses were half my age, and one had an AMAZING ass, and the other had a GREAT ass. I didn’t take notice of their tits, I am sorry to say (their asses were their best physical features). So their bodies were beautiful, as were their faces. Although, I probably needed to be AT LEAST a decade younger before I’d hit on them.

It’s funny, because I recall my university years – and back then it would seem like the end of the World if any female I planned on asking out wouldn’t immediately write back to me on MSN Messenger. Back then, it never dawned on me that LOTS of people would be signed into MSN Messenger all day – while being AWAY from their computer the vast majority of the time. I just assumed that any time I messaged anyone, the other person would ALWAYS be at their computer – and that if they didn’t respond IMMEDIATELY, I’d assume I was being DELIBERATELY ignored. Why did I think that? I blame it on a combination of naivety, untreated paranoid schizophrenia, social isolation, and dial-up internet. Oh well. Not long after Facebook was created, I no longer had that self-absorbed “Terry is the Centre of the World” assumption – and I no longer cared if someone would take weeks/months to write back to me. BUT I have some friends and acquaintances who incorrectly assume I haven’t “grown” or “matured” AT ALL in the last twenty years. They also assume I have a violent temper – although ALL of those people would have NO EVIDENCE of that in the last twenty years. It boggles my mind that friends who know me so well – are STILL worried I might physically harm people (because I am a schizophrenic, but also because I’m an anarchist). Well, reading the Wikipedia article on “Anarchism” is… not a good way to learn about anarchism (most people unfamiliar with anarchism would walk away from that article having WAY more questions than answers). Those friends would be better off asking ME to answer their questions about anarchism (a broad subject I know fairly intimately). But I digress.

I recall visiting my brother some years ago – and one day some friends of his came for a visit to his apartment. One dude had just recently been released from prison – and he sure looked like someone you wouldn’t want to mess with. That dude was very kind and respectful around me – something I don’t expect from most of my brother’s friends. And me and the dude engaged in “guy talk” about waitresses. He mentioned how expensive it is to hit on a waitress – as in, MOST dudes need to be a regular customer of the restaurant/bar/whatever, before we can even THINK of seducing or successfully asking out a waitress. I agreed, because the activity I observed at various restaurants/bars/whatever gave me that impression. Why had that dude been to prison? I don’t know, and I didn’t ask. Although my brother had said: “When that dude walks into a bar – everyone knows he’s there to fuck shit up.”

In closing, if I’m ever going to hit on a waitress – I’ll probably only hit on one if she’s hot AND in her thirties or forties (even if it’s the first time in my life I’ve ever seen her). Ⓐ