(written by Terry MacNeil, on October 19, 24, 2025)

Nowadays, I don’t expect everyone to have sensitivity for people who are suffering. But about twenty years ago, as a college student – I assumed everyone I knew had as much sensitivity as I did. And yes, the previous sentence makes me sound like an arrogant douchebag. BUT I ASSUME I’m an empathetic person. However, the people that know you are a better judge than you are of whether you’re empathetic or not. So twenty years ago, my former best friend was struggling with depression – because of various reasons, but most notably because his girlfriend had dumped him. My attitude at the time was “I MUST DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO HELP MY BEST FRIEND OVERCOME THIS DEPRESSION.” All I did – was listen as he talked about his sorrows. And as anyone who’s been depressed knows – having A FRIEND listen to your woes can bring SOME relief (though it’ll never be enough to make the depression go away entirely). That friend appreciated my help – and even said so. But when it was ME who (later) became bogged down in depression – that former friend simply viewed me as being “weak”, and that I was a whiner. And that was the way many of my friends and acquaintances viewed me at that time. I’m not the biggest fan of the 2020s – BUT I will say, at least people these days are WAY more sensitive/empathetic (with regard to mental illness) than they used to be.

In more recent times, I’ve been streaming Celtic Colours shows online (because I haven’t been to a live show since COVID). To be clear, Celtic Colours is a Cape Breton event that goes on during mid-October – every year. At various events across Cape Breton – there are “Celtic” (to varying degrees) musicians performing. And I enjoy a lot of that music.

Though I must say, as a regular viewer of the Celtic Colours livestream over the years, I have seen at least one mentally ill (more specifically depressed) person reaching out to strangers – for friendship (on the Celtic Colours chat). And I’m convinced he was hoping any new friends he made would listen to him talk about his experiences with depression. Well, like I said – we shouldn’t expect everyone to be able to “help” the mentally ill. But I’d see the same dude, year after year, trying to connect with random people – in the hope they would become his friend. And just about all of them would say to him (paraphrased) “You’re my friend, BUT I don’t want to give you my e-mail, and I don’t want to add you on Facebook. And I don’t want to hear from you again, friend – until the next Celtic Colours, next year. Until then, fuck off.” Though I must point out – there are a lot of people online, who PRETEND to be mentally ill. So I can see why most humans are nervous about dealing with strangers who publicly claim to be mentally ill.

My point – is that I become enraged when I see people say/claim they’re “friends” with someone online, then deliberately refuse to connect with them in any way (even if the other person is begging for it). It amounts to phoniness of the worst kind. Oh well. I guess I’m just an old school fool that puts way too much meaning in words like “friend”.

As for me, after I had that crippling major depression about twenty years ago – I was so enraged and humiliated that none of my friends or acquaintances wanted to help me – that I basically went through the major depression on my own (though my family did A LOT to help look after me). And when it ended about half a year later, I basically said to myself “ALRIGHT. All you friends/acquaintances (aka ‘fuckers’) did nothing to help me. So the next time I’m in a crisis – I’m not telling ANY of you. Because I have more faith in myself to get through a mental health crisis ON MY OWN than I do in any of you useless humans to help me.” Ⓐ